Question: I was redd to a boy and we were given a no. Later, the shadchan gave the boy’s side a picture of me and they gave a yes. I was very turned off. My résumé wasn’t good enough for them and whatever info they found out wasn’t good enough for them, but now that...Read More

Question: Those who have battled their weight will understand my question. Others might not. My weight fluctuates. A week’s time can make a big difference. Boruch Hashem, I have seen great results from my efforts, but recently I gained a little weight and, at about the same time, I got a yes from a girl....Read More

Question: As a (fantastic) 23-year-old girl in shidduchim, my parents (and I) are often asked, “So why isn’t she married? If she’s such a great girl, why is she still on the market?” I’ve been thinking about this response very much, and I have the following question: If someone is looking into me seriously, then...Read More

Question: As the opening of the freezer approaches, we sat down our son during his recent Shabbos at home for a little shmooze to determine what exactly he is looking for. As we sat in his bedroom, it was clear that he wished to be anywhere but sitting there with my husband and me. He...Read More

Question: I am the mother of a boy in shidduchim. We are looking into a shidduch and we asked the shadchan to find out what the other side’s plan is regarding support. Their reply was, “Our daughter is not being sold,” and they will only discuss money matters once the shidduch is really serious. What...Read More

Question: As a bochur in shidduchim, I have the following problem, which I’m hoping can be resolved by the esteemed panelists. Boruch Hashem, I was gifted with a good brain; I am what they call a “baal kishron” – or so I’m told. During conversations on dates, I often find certain topics that have some...Read More

Question: Hi. I’m the “shallow thinker” from two weeks ago. I read all the responses to my question, and I’m wondering if the real answer is rooted in a different problem in the shidduch system. Dehaynu: It is well-known that girls dump boys a lot more than boys dump girls, at least according to the...Read More

Question: My son has been going out, and after each of the first three dates, the mother of the girl has been calling up the same three friends and grilling them, asking them questions about my son that we had thought were settled already. What’s this mother’s line of thinking? How can my son proceed...Read More

Question: As a bochur in shidduchim, I have the following question about something that has frustrated me. For the average boy and girl from basic yeshiva backgrounds, there are certain “serious” issues that are generally reserved for discussion from date 4 and on. The reason that these issues aren’t discussed early on, I assume, is...Read More

Question: My son will begin shidduchim soon, having returned from learning in Eretz Yisroel this past Sukkos. My son has many maalos and we’ve been fortunate to be redd many shidduchim. I have a stack of résumés on my kitchen table. I am not saying this to boast. I am mentioning it because, as strange...Read More