Question: According to information that I have gathered, five out of six shidduchim involving a bochur who is dating for the first time,  where the shidduchim don’t result in a marriage, end with the girl rejecting the boy after three or four dates. While this 5:1 ratio may be similar to the overall dating statistics in that nearly five out of...Read More

Question: From time to time, I have nagging feelings of guilt with regard to two girls I went out with. I said “no” to them both.  Today, I am married, boruch Hashem. However, I feel bad that after going out with two particular girls, one five times and one six times, I had no choice but...Read More

Question: I am a single girl and was recently redd to a divorcee. As this is something new for me, I was wondering how to approach it. What kind of questions should I ask when calling the references? What red flags should I be looking out for? If I do decide to date him, how am I...Read More

Question: I’m in my upper twenties and have been in shidduchim for close to seven years. I’ve gone out with several dozen girls and have come close to engagement many times, only to break it off at the very last moment.  I often feel that, intellectually, I wish to go ahead with the shidduch, since I am eager...Read More

Question: Recently, I received a shidduch call from the sister of a boy, calling to check out my good friend’s daughter. I had only good things to say about the girl, knowing her as a mature, pleasant young woman. However, the sister interrupted and asked: “Weren’t you her ninth grade teacher?” I replied that yes, I was....Read More

Question: Yosef is taking Tova out on a fourth date. Yosef announces that he made reservations for dinner for the two of them. He does not give Tova a choice of a restaurant. What should Tova’s reaction be when she realizes that her family is not comfortable with the hechsher of this restaurant? Should she tell him nicely...Read More

Question: I was on a date recently, and while driving (switching lanes, merging, etc.), the girl kept on looking over her shoulder to make certain that the lane was clear. Although this is (probably) not a factor in determining whether or not she will be a good marriage partner, it did come across as annoying,...Read More

Question:  I have a question that has been on my mind for the last little while. A girl and a boy go out a number of times and really get to know each other, and the shidduch does not work. What is proper protocol if they keep bumping into each other? Is it a problem to give...Read More

Question:             If you look around, the current shidduch process is obviously not cutting it. There is practically not a family in Klal Yisroel that doesn’t have a single boy or girl who is in the parsha and struggling with the current system. As a result, we are left with a large population of single people that seems to be growing. ...Read More

Question: Sometimes, people look into a proposed shidduch and get back to the shadchan saying, “I will not pursue this now, but I am not saying no. Perhaps in a few months from now…” Is this an appropriate way to turn down a shidduch or is this insulting? Is it better just to say no, and then, if you reconsider...Read More