Making the Call: Preparedness and Efficiency In the previous segments of this series, we discussed how to choose references for a shidduch resume and reviewed the skills necessary to be an effective and helpful reference. In this final segment of the series, we will consider those making the shidduch call and how one can successfully...Read More

Question: As a parent, we care deeply about our children. No one would like to see them happily married more than us. Why is it that when we take the time, hours, looking into a shidduch that is suggested and then decide that it is not for our child are we met with annoyance, and...Read More

Question: I have a son in shidduchim who’s been in the parsha for some time now. With every new girl he dates, we encounter a problem. My wife’s parents, who love their grandchildren and feel very close to them, are also very sensitive. I find that when we do not tell them about my son’s upcoming date, they feel...Read More

Question: As a shadchan I wonder: What’s the rush? Your daughter is still in seminary for another two months. What’s the rush? Your son just entered the freezer. What’s the rush? Your son or daughter has just been rejected, ending a three-week parshah: What’s the rush? How about letting you daughter enjoy her stay in seminary and have...Read More

Question: Our daughter just went out with a boy before Rosh Chodesh Iyar. The boy had a beard, but it was shvach. He is somewhat follicly challenged. It’s a Sefirah beard and it’s not the greatest. And halachah is halachah. The boy mentioned on the date that he doesn’t have a specific minhag regarding which Sefirah he keeps, and every year he is able to pick whichever “half”...Read More

Question: Girls are often taught to ask boys they are dating if they have a rebbi they are close to. Sometimes, they pose this question as early on as the very first date. We all know that having a rebbi is indeed important. However, a bachur who attends a large, mainstream yeshiva, where the rebbi-to-talmid ratio exceeds 20:1, and hasn’t experienced any major problems...Read More

Question: My only son (after three girls) is coming home from yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel for Pesach. He very much wants to begin shidduchim. My daughters did get some shidduch prep in seminary. Unfortunately, most of the boys’ yeshivos do not prepare them at all for the dating process or for marriage.  How can I,...Read More

Question: I was wondering what the panelists feel about what I think to be a worthless and time-consuming practice of calling the friends of singles in shidduchim. Don’t people understand that every boy you call about is going to be “a huge masmid, who still has a lot of friends.” Of course, “he has tons...Read More

Question: I am writing this question an hour after returning from a first date. Twenty minutes after I dropped the girl off, my parents received a phone call from the shadchan. The girl is not interested in going on a second date. At least I was worth twenty minutes. I’m fine with that. I’m more...Read More

Question: The standard reply the shadchan gives when the girl says “yes” is, “She had a great time and she wants to go out again.”  Now, who on the planet has a good time sitting with a stranger (from the other gender) for three hours, over a cup of flat Diet Coke (and water, of...Read More