Question: I am a single bochur in his thirties and I’ve been meaning to write this question for a while. There have been wonderful efforts to help those in shidduchim, especially girls. The focus of much of the publicity of the shidduch crisis has been on the girls, and perhaps rightfully so. However, I have witnessed how this has negatively...Read More

Question: I am a bochur in shidduchim who considers himself a normal, worldly boy. My dilemma is: How much do I say on a date with respect to how worldly I am and what I know? On one hand, I want to be honest, but on the other hand, I don’t want to scare the girl off. Answer: In...Read More

Question: I am a parent of a boy and a girl in shidduchim. My question is simple: When saying no to a shidduch, either before any dates or after my child has already gone out, must I provide a reason?  Sometimes, it would be much simpler if I were allowed to just say no and move on....Read More

Question: I’m an older single girl who endures the daily hardship of having a medical issue. In our circles, when anyone has a medical issue, it’s considered a stigma, and therefore I’ve kept it a secret all my life.  I was recently thinking that maybe I should disclose my secret, as perhaps it will be...Read More

Question: I’m a divorced father in my thirties with a few young children. I am, boruch Hashem, healthy and have means to support my family. I would really like to get married again soon and move on with life.  For some reason, I feel that as much as I try dealing with shadchanim, they never get back to me...Read More

Question: What are some good games to play on a date? It’s been recommended to me to bring along a game in order to enhance conversation on dates. What do you suggest based on experience? Answer: Admittedly, I am not particularly well-versed in the dating games du jour. Nevertheless, as a general rule, I would...Read More

Question: Every so often, my uncle calls me about boys, looking for a shidduch for his daughter. Alert: My uncle tells me that he’s looking for “the best guy.” But his daughter doesn’t need “the best guy.” How do I know? It doesn’t take a professor in quantum physics or thermodynamics to see that she’s a fine...Read More

Question: We have a daughter in shidduchim. On a regular basis, we ask our wonderful son about prospective bochurim. Every boy has a chisaron, and no one knows boys better than other boys. Bochurim know others bochurim’s weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. What has happened – and apparently this is an issue encountered by many parents of girls like us – is that...Read More

Question: There’s an unwritten rule that once a boy gives a yes to a girl, he has to go out. I have a scenario in which I wonder if that should indeed be a given. A boy comes home from a date. It’s 11 p.m. when he sits down to discuss the date with his...Read More

Question: I am following up on a Shidduch Forum column some weeks ago, when most of the panelists seemed to imply that a young man should marry someone even if his heart isn’t in it. If there is some problem holding back a young man from connecting, or his expectations are unrealistic, then that absolutely needs to be...Read More