Question: In helping young men and young ladies navigate the parsha of shidduchim, I often see that while they have a pretty good idea of where they’re heading in life, they really have no idea what they’re looking for in a shidduch. Instead of talking and thinking “up-in-the-air,” I advise that they get into the shidduch scene, meet shadchanim, and just begin...Read More

Question: As the rov of a shul comprised of younger families, I have only begun to experience certain uncomfortable situations relating to fielding shidduch inquiries regarding members of our kehila. But while answering questions that seem to be just a portion of more comprehensive “investigations” presents its own challenges, what I am writing to you, Shidduch Forum panelists, about today is what you, based...Read More

Question: As parents, what should we ask our son after a date? How much information do we have to know?  We wish to note that it seems that as a result of fatigue, his mood after a date doesn’t necessarily reflect his feelings of the date itself. Your insight is appreciated. Answer: While the subject...Read More

To The Esteemed Shidduch Forum Panelists: Many of us have had some long dating sagas. It seems that the common factor in many of them was that there was something bothering either the girl or the boy since the beginning, but no one, not the girl nor the boy, wants to let a good shot...Read More

The Initial Reaction “Good evening, I’m calling regarding a shidduch. Do you have a few minutes to talk?” “My daughter was just redt (suggested to go out with) to so-and-so, what do you think of the idea?” “I was just redt to so-and-so, should I go out with her?” Once a shidduch is redt –...Read More

Tactics for Preparing References & Fielding Shidduch Calls In Part I of this series, we primarily discussed how crucial it is to be sure that when one is presented with a shidduch idea for feedback one’s response is substantive and thoughtful, and never purely reactionary. We concluded by noting that the most proper way to...Read More

Making the Call: Preparedness and Efficiency In the previous segments of this series, we discussed how to choose references for a shidduch resume and reviewed the skills necessary to be an effective and helpful reference. In this final segment of the series, we will consider those making the shidduch call and how one can successfully...Read More

Question: As a parent, we care deeply about our children. No one would like to see them happily married more than us. Why is it that when we take the time, hours, looking into a shidduch that is suggested and then decide that it is not for our child are we met with annoyance, and...Read More

Question: I have a son in shidduchim who’s been in the parsha for some time now. With every new girl he dates, we encounter a problem. My wife’s parents, who love their grandchildren and feel very close to them, are also very sensitive. I find that when we do not tell them about my son’s upcoming date, they feel...Read More

Question: As a shadchan I wonder: What’s the rush? Your daughter is still in seminary for another two months. What’s the rush? Your son just entered the freezer. What’s the rush? Your son or daughter has just been rejected, ending a three-week parshah: What’s the rush? How about letting you daughter enjoy her stay in seminary and have...Read More