Question I used to be a frequent reader of this column, but I rarely read it anymore. I am not a big fan of it. I am surprised by the absurdity of many questions and I don’t appreciate many of the responses. Be that as it may, I wish to propose an idea: The bottom...Read More

Question: Thank you for your wonderful newspaper. The Shidduch Forum has become my favorite column.  About a year and a half ago, I dated a girl very seriously. We were very close to getting engaged, and my parents and I were very excited about the shidduch. At that point, someone shared information about the girl’s sister and family. Basically, they...Read More

Question: I have a good friend – we’ll come him Moish – who has been blessed with financial wealth. He does very well parnassah-wise. However, I know that he does not assist his children financially. I often receive shidduch calls about him and his children, and, as can be expected, people ask me “if he has money.” I...Read More

Question: After our daughter had been in the parsha of shidduchim for almost a year, it has gotten back to us that a close family friend on our daughter’s résumé, when called as a reference, gives nice and appropriate information, but on numerous occasions has volunteered her own opinion, saying, “I can’t see it,” when she knew who the...Read More

Question: The following is from an email I recently received from a shadchan: “So, Rivky got back to me and stated that she looked into it and heard she is too modern for you; she wears ___ (type of makeup, details not important), etc. and heard you are more yeshivish.” In my dating experience, this is an...Read More

Question: As a young married couple, we spend a lot of time trying to set up singles. As anyone who has been involved in shidduchim knows, it can be very time-consuming. ​Recently, we set up a few shidduchim. ​Some ​almost got engaged, while others only went as far as a second or third date. ​ It is disheartening that...Read More

Question: I am a single bochur in his thirties and I’ve been meaning to write this question for a while. There have been wonderful efforts to help those in shidduchim, especially girls. The focus of much of the publicity of the shidduch crisis has been on the girls, and perhaps rightfully so. However, I have witnessed how this has negatively...Read More

Question: I am a bochur in shidduchim who considers himself a normal, worldly boy. My dilemma is: How much do I say on a date with respect to how worldly I am and what I know? On one hand, I want to be honest, but on the other hand, I don’t want to scare the girl off. Answer: In...Read More

Question: I am a parent of a boy and a girl in shidduchim. My question is simple: When saying no to a shidduch, either before any dates or after my child has already gone out, must I provide a reason?  Sometimes, it would be much simpler if I were allowed to just say no and move on....Read More