Question:
My husband and I are trying to put together a shidduch résumé, but are not seeing eye-to-eye as to what should be included. I believe that a résumé should give basic points about the person in shidduchim and his/her immediate family. When I drafted the résumé, it ran about two-thirds of a page. My husband wants to include more information so that “people have more ways to find out about us.” He wants to include information about grandparents, aunts, uncles, affiliations, etc. His draft ran about two pages.
What information about the boy/girl, parents, siblings, grandparents, or aunts/uncles should and should not be written on a résumé? Is there a difference between a résumé for a boy and for a girl? Can a résumé be too long?
Answer:
While the enterprise of résumé writing generally tends to be more of a subjective art than an objective science, I do believe there is an overall formula and format that should be followed. In a nutshell, it should be a succinct synopsis rather than a deep dive, never to exceed a one-page document (a PDF is the best file type, as it ensures that the doc looks exactly the same, regardless of device and software), and the writer should be mindful of the order of the data, so that it is not essentially one long-running non-sequitur. Optimally, and in its ideal structure and configuration, the information conveyed will be quite readily grasped and most easily absorbed by the reader. The last thing one wants is a shidduch prospect moving on to another suggestion simply because they cannot make heads or tails of one’s résumé.
On a somewhat related note, with respect to incorporating a bio/what-I-am-looking-for segment, it is my position that such a narrative should be crafted as a stand-alone item for the shadchan’s eyes only, so that he or she can best remember the nature and needs of each dater. However, insofar as a piece of paper is incapable of responding to questions or explaining itself, said chronicle should not be shared with anticipated shidduch prospects. Such material should be gleaned from conversations with actual human references who can qualify and expound upon any points in need of additional clarification.
That said, rather than attempting to further describe and depict my own personal preferred and prescribed layout and sequencing, I imagine that it will be easier to fully communicate my recommended résumé regimen and arrangement vis-à-vis an exemplar. It is my hope that, b’ezras Hashem, the sample included below will prove helpful to those in shidduchim, and aid in the process of crafting a smooth, confident, and pleasant outline of our many outstanding single men and women.
May the Choseiv V’Choseim, Sofer U’Moneh ensure that we are all always able to present ourselves in the most accurate, honest, and favorable light possible.
