Question: Sometimes, people look into a proposed shidduch and get back to the shadchan saying, “I will not pursue this now, but I am not saying no. Perhaps in a few months from now…” Is this an appropriate way to turn down a shidduch or is this insulting? Is it better just to say no, and then, if you reconsider...Read More

Question:  My son was redd a girl who, like him, wants to start married life in kollel. How long my son will learn, I don’t know. Neither does he. But it is something he wants to do.  Our research revealed that while the girl wants a boy who will be learning for some time – even an extended...Read More

Question: I am a 22-year-old bochur and I just came home from Eretz Yisroel. I want to bike around and my mother absolutely refuses. She says that I won’t get a shidduch if I ride my bike. Who is right? Answer: As it appears to me, this is not so much a matter of right or wrong as it...Read More

Question: In the past, some of the panelists have discussed whether a second date should be a given. Some are of the opinion that there should always be a second date. My daughter has been dating for several years already. She’s gone out quite a bit. When she goes out with a young man for the...Read More

Question: In helping young men and young ladies navigate the parsha of shidduchim, I often see that while they have a pretty good idea of where they’re heading in life, they really have no idea what they’re looking for in a shidduch. Instead of talking and thinking “up-in-the-air,” I advise that they get into the shidduch scene, meet shadchanim, and just begin...Read More